El Dorado, KS. Yesterday, one of the regulars of a local coffee shop was discovered to have been living in a crawl space under the floor for the last six years. Jeremy Thompson, a 42 year old from Towanda, Kansas, has been utilizing this space for free and without the knowledge of the building owners or the business proprietor.
He was found when Shawn Humig, an electrician hired to repair the espresso machine, needed to run a new line under the floor.
“I got down into the crawl space and turned on my flashlight, and that’s when I saw him,” said Humig. “I thought it was a raccoon at first because of how the light reflected off his eyes, but then when I got closer I realized it was actually an adult man.”
Heather Wellner, manager of Jacob’s Well, recognized Thompson immediately. “When the tear gas subsided,” said Wellner, “and they finally got him out of there, I was shocked to see that it was Jeremy. He has been in here for lunch every day for years.”
When asked about the area under the floor Thompson had been living in, Humig said, “Well he had a couple old blankets to sleep on and a milk crate set up for his laptop. My guess is that he just used Jacob’s Well’s wifi and would come up at night to use the facilities and forage for food. There were several half eaten cookies and some Panini wrappers scattered around.”
The owner of Jacob’s Well, Tyler Brickley, was asked about the incident. “It’s unnerving, for sure, but it all makes so much more sense now. He always sat at R1, which was never suspicious. Lot’s of customers have favorite spots, but now I realize that R1 is directly over the trap door to the crawl space. I never really saw him come in, either. I’d just walk back there and—hey, there’s Jeremy!”
Official charges are still pending an investigation by the police, who have asked for dozens more of Jacob’s Well’s chocolate chip cookies in order to accurately recreate the crime scene.