Man clicks every ‘You won’t believe what happens next’ article on Facebook, and you won’t believe what happens next!

Jerry

El Dorado, KS —Gerald Wittenberg, 76, has devoted himself to clicking every single link on Facebook that promises an unbelievable ending. He reports mixed results so far.

“Sometimes I can totally believe what happens next, sometimes it catches me by surprise,” said Wittenberg, “but I’m starting to think it’s just something they put in the headline to get me to read the article.”

Wittenberg points to an article on his computer with the title, “Must Watch! Cute Kitten Attacks Pit Bull – You Won’t Believe What Happens Next!!” “Because of the title, I was assuming the kitten was going to knock the Pit Bull unconscious and drag it off or something. Guess what? It’s just a video of a kitten getting licked by a dog for 1:22.”

Seth Robinson is the Editor-in-chief of Marketing Monthly. “It’s a technique we developed in the early 2000s, but I feel like it is just now catching on.”

Marketing Monthly reported a 217% increase in clicks on articles with some variation of “You won’t believe what happens next” in the title.

“Take an article like ‘Man survives for 3 days underwater; you won’t believe what happens next!’ for example,” said Robinson, “There really isn’t anything that happens next. He’s been rescued—the story is over; however, when we promise people something amazing—that’s how we get more clicks.”

Other popular variations include:

– READ UNTIL THE END!

– JUST WAIT UNTIL YOU SEE THE REST!

– What happens next will SHOCK YOU!

– READ FOR JESUS!

– YOU’RE ONLY ON FACEBOOK BECAUSE YOU ARE BORED WITH REAL LIFE AND ARE LOOKING FOR SOMETHING STIMULATING, RIGHT? THEN CLICK HERE!

At press time, Wittenberg was experimenting with scrubbing to the end of videos in an effort to get to the unbelievable parts faster.

1 Comment

Leave a Comment